my heart is in chains

Caught myself today,Sitting in a daze.Staring at the sky and its cloudy memories.
Once again trying to "sort out"my life.Tori amoses little earthquakes album playing on repeat in my head for the past few days hasnt helped much.
Have you ever tried to think of nothing,just to give your mind time to rest?and found it impossible?
There are so many thoughts,feelings,memories,dreams whizzing about at 100 mile an hour,it makes no sense to write them down.
Im gonna be confining them to a desk and a phone for the next 20 years.
I want a mad flirt with adventure i wanna get on a random bus and see where i end up.I want to sing in the street.I want to jump in the biggest puddle i can find,and roll about in it.go somewhere with no doctors,nobody monitoring,nobody who knows me.i want to feel without feeling guilty.